Considering this is the first season I ever participated in races, I am surprised I’ve made it through 6 races.
My last race of the season, my 7th race, a 10K, is coming up next Saturday, a week from today.
Turns out I am more competitive with myself than I knew, and I have expectations about this race, or one expectation, a PR.
I don’t know why it really matters if my time is slower or faster than my current PR, if it really makes a difference, but it does.
It’s not about proving myself that my training paid off, because I already know it did. And I know which paces I can run, and for how long. But I need that official number next to my name. As if only then it were true.
My current 10K PR is 44:43, and it wasn’t particularly easy to get.
The result I want, I’m dreaming big, is 43:30.
Will I get it? Probably not.
Am I just being negative to think that? Probably not.
If the course is flat, and everything is right, I might be able to run that time. 5% chance sounds about right.
Anything between 44:00 and 45:00 sounds way more realistic.
I’ve told a few runners friends about the result I hope to get, and I’m writing it here, and I know I’ll be embarrassed to come back and say I didn’t get it if I don’t get it.
But I refuse to not say it just because I might be embarrassed later.
It’s OK to have goals and expectations, and if we don’t meet them on our first try then we will meet them next time, or the next, or maybe never, but even then: so what.
We wish, we try, we hope… isn’t that something to be proud of? Much prouder than being too proud to admit what we really want for fear of what may happen.
So I hope for a 10K race result of 43:30 next week.
And I hope one day, in a year or five, to go sub-40 for 10K.
And I really hope my kids are happy.
I hope my marriage gets stronger.
And I hope the world becomes a much happier, healthier, nicer place.
Are you sometimes embarrassed to admit what your race goals are? Anything you wish for that you’d like to share?